Going a bit off the topic of EDEN... but don't worry it is always CONNECTED.
Just a LITTLE way down the trail to a relative of Abraham, a family living in a place called Sodom and Gomorrah by a man called Lot.
I just wanted to touch on this subject still on the topic of FAMILY and this solid institution, that was made with the purpose to be GOOD, that God created to nurture, care and PROTECT each little being that comes into existence, in this world. I wanted to touch on Lot because the end of his story is one of those little serpents we see reaching a lot of families today. A family unit that ended in SEPARATION, leaving the case of a single parent home.
Yes unfortunately Lot's wife blew it, she turned back, what can you do... But we'll get to that later...
Now the focus here is not about how they became separated but the results of that separation and what it COST... the consequences that came after.
Now don't get me wrong, no judgements to single homed families or families who make the choice to call it quits. Sometimes there is just no going back, I mean the previous blog we celebrated NEW BEGINNINGS, right. The point here is to observe the VULNERABILITIES, exposure and damage than can take place as it happened to this family fleeing from the ash heaps of Sodom and Gomorrah. The vulnerabilities and exposure a home is left with, broken by the CHOICES and circumstances of life that lead to its utter demise. I myself grew up with a single mum warrior raising 7 kids with God and the SECOND institution of the family, for the broken families, our Church... we will get to that point a little later on.
But back to the story of Lot and what it reflects about that firm foundation of the family, instituted by God right there in the beginning, in that little garden and the vulnerabilities that happens when that institution is desecrated for whatever reason, whether reasonable or not.
"Never give up on the Family! Never give up on the Nation!" (1)
Looking at the end results of Lots family. You can almost say that Lots wife TURNED BACK from continuing with her family, from her duty, looking to a passing distant dream of Sodom in flames, that was nothing but remnants of ashes, compared to the life and mission she could build within her home and family. And isn’t that one of many reasons for broken families today, turning back to AIMLESS pursuits that are nothing but ashes in the ground. Abandoning a call to love, NURTURE, care and invest in something that will reap its benefits from generation and GENERATIONS to come.
"Remember what happened to Lot’s wife"(2)
Adam and Eve, experienced this separation from the Father that left them vulnerable to the adversary of their time, to take advantage of their INNOCENCE and NAIVETY …'“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (3) Then later on with Jesus we see the reverse of not giving into VANITIES that ultimately lead to separation ...
And the devil said to Him, “All this authority I will give You, and their GLORY; for this has been delivered to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore, if You will worship before me, all will be Yours.” And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’ ”(4)
Here we see the two different outcomes of being FAITHFUL and unfaithful even if it promises the whole world. This door that was opened at Eves consent choosing separation by the breaking of an agreement with the Father, brought chaos and suffering into the world. A decision to choose a DIFFERENT path, to no longer continue in faithfulness, communion, love, security and protection with God. Adam and Eve no longer wanted to live within the care and protection of their Heavenly Father but wanted their independence and freedom to go out and do it all on their own.
Who needs God...?
And what is this fruit, what is it to know and choose that "good and evil"(3), to go off and just do whatever we want. What is this inclination to be just like God? Sometimes we might think we know better, sometimes we might want to do things a little different, a little out of boundaries, out of place... chaos. But the SIMPLEST form of things in life in their purity, purpose and ORIGINALITY sometimes is just the best way and it just doesn't get any better. Unchanging, never getting old, timeless... classic. Just like NATURE. In it’s simplest form it brings so much benefits, goodness and a natural duty and preservation of self EFFICIENCY and protection.
So is the family institution and all its BENEFITS and goodness when properly maintained, nurtured, loved and cared for. Something that doesn't come naturally for some ( I speak for myself I am still learning...) But is written in the DNA of our purpose and reason of existing to be "fruitful and multiply" (5). From that special moment and tingling sensation of meeting that special someone in your life or the long unwinding journey of pregnancy and bringing forth your first child, to seeing that child grow, change, mature as the passing sands of time soaks up all those MEMORIES of joy, pains, disappointments, growth achievements, all in the passing hands of the circle of LIFE.
When this simplicity of the family is broken it opens the door to many possibilities of hurt, pain, vulnerabilities, loss of direction, PURPOSE and willingness towards life in the case of many. It opens the door to all sorts of evil to take ADVANTAGE of its vulnerable and fragile state. A single mum unable to be available to her child who becomes on the scale of increasingly insecure or overly independent. A father (or mother) who is not present that opens up the door to those serpents of sexual and other forms of ABUSE and addictions that fill the emptiness of abandonment, loneliness and disorientation…
That’s what we see in the story of Lot. A dad who just escaped from a morally challenged city, his wife the mother of his kids turned back to look towards her former life in Sodom and became a pillar of salt... He is left with two daughters no mama there... That gap, that dismantling of a family structure in the midst of chaos and ruins, missing a piece of its member brought in possibilities that were INCONCEIVABLE but was conceived through the absence of one of its members.
Something I too came to know growing up with this undoing of family structures. As great and hardworking as my mum was being dad and mum at the same time, it proved its difficulties and inefficiency and many get the bad end of the stick of this disruption in some form or another, whether physical, mental, emotional or even in worse case scenarios sexually. Many times we had to be helped by family, friends neighbours but this left us exposed to the absent presence of our mum. The second hand but gracious watch of those who would help would still open doors that exposed us to many things parents would not want their children to be exposed to. But because of the pressure to provide, to care... other important VALUES and needs are left undone. We become so occupied with the rat race of life without structure and consistency, this overwhelm breeds a generation that is deprived of the sustenance, attention and care that mostly is naturally evident and readily available in what God planned and established for us to begin with.
The Family
Life today is very fast paced with so much to keep up with. I don’t think we will ever return to the good old days of traditional families. Not that modern day changes are to be looked down upon with feminism leading women to reach great heights in life. Both are remarkable landmarks in our human experience and ways of living but how to combine the two of being a 21st century family but still keeping those precious values and nurture with the ambition and rise of technology and opportunities that may sometimes take PRECEDENCE that can lead to that inevitable breaking point...
Today woman are busy and capable and have much more to offer than before. I imagine Lot's wife was thriving in that community of their past residence in Gomorrah, I mean what could be so much more compelling than to escape into a new future with your family if not the allure and flashing lights of a beautiful city by the "plains of the Jordan"(6). Ambition is good but we can’t forget the FOUNDATION and reason for all our success and hard work is to build something that will continue to the next generation and that starts with keeping ourselves GROUNDED in the original purpose of God and from there branching out like a beautiful tree, the fruits of all our talents, wisdom, abilities and achievements cooperating so that our family, neighbours and community can partake with us in having a life full of MEANING and ambition but rooted in purpose starting from our own homes.
Needless to say, not all broken family or single home parents experience such severity and unwholesome livelihoods as even in the appearance of a normal family structure, things can still occur and even be worse than being in a single parent home or alone. Take Adam and Eve with their sons and their outcome even within the family, so things can go wrong on either side.
Nonetheless it is an observation and testament of how a strong family unit grounded in the principles and FAITH in the One who established it can bring so much benefits, protection and security when following the RIGHT guidelines . These benefits have been brought even to the single parent and broken homes today. Yes, through Jesus, through His Church and through His Word.
This is what I experienced growing up in a single home of 7 kids. Though our family structure was not complete missing that father presence and the balance of a family structure, I can say that God provided a SECONDARY family structure which is the Church. If in Eden God the Father established that institution of the family to nurture, care and protect each little sprout who would enter this world to grow and live. Then I can say that God the Son through His mission here on earth established upon completion, the Church the secondary institution of the family to help those who may have suffered the loss or brokenness of the first institution to be able to find solace, reconciliation and healing through the Second Institution, the Church, to repair and maintain the first, the Family.
Through the hearing of the Word, repentance in LEARNING and creating a change of behaviour and mentality to start a new beginning or heal and reconcile what was broken. With the Holy Spirit who fills us with the will and purpose of God for our lives. Learning how to REBUILD and overcome in the Institution for the Family that can sometimes become broken because of circumstances and chance.
So whether a single parent home like Lot whose end was shameful with his two daughters or a broken Adam and Eve family unit separated from the Father to their own devices. Where there is life there is HOPE, and God never, ever quits His plan to RECONCILE us to His good and perfect will for our lives to take care of those things and people He entrusted to us. Whenever we get it wrong, He is always ready to lend a hand to those who SEEK Him.
'My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to every prayer made in this place. For I have chosen this Temple and set it apart to be holy—a place where My name will be honoured forever. I will always watch over it, for it is dear to My heart. ' (4)
References:
(1) Tom and Jerry episode 2014 "the queen comes to visit" clip 0:20-1:00
(2) Luke 17:32 NLT
(4) Luke 4:6-8
(5) Genesis 1:28
(6) Gensis 13:10
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